Self-Description: Self-actualization; I dont think Ive ever actually figured out anything about myself. Never one moment. Never one revelation. No light bulbs like in cartoons. Id like to think Ive learned some things. I actually think its easier to actualize someone else. You dont have a predisposition, a bias. She doesnt love me. I learned that tonight when she answered the door. "Hi," "Hi." I brought her a flower. "I thought Id stop by to see how you were doing." "Im doing all right. Got a lot of work done today." I stood framed in the awkward metal door She stood 5 feet away. Its a complete disregard of friendship. She forgets we are friends because I am no longer a friend, but a friend who is interested, which nullifies the first part I guess. I didnt know what to think on my walk home. I didnt even know if I was upset or not. Just another failure, another wasnt meant to be? I dont know. Am I upset because she doesnt like me, or am I upset because someone doesnt like me? Because theres never a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and the rainbow gets steeper, and the colors get darker and duller, and that fucking leprechaun wont stop pestering me to buy his damn cereal. My mind wanders. I dont know what Im to think. Well, see, books and movies tell me Im supposed to be upset, and I am, I know that, but who gets the credit, this girl or Natalie Portman, Claire Danes, Clea Duval? The real loves and losses in my life. See I think I know who Im supposed to be and I cant actually be who I am if Im trying to be myself. Thus negating self-actualization via a predisposition a bias.
Children: one day.
Interests: filmmaking, writing, frisbee, art, local music, writing on things, silk screening, beards and other fun facial hair
Contact Info:
Available but Hidden.
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